(arguably) the lesser of two evils

see, God and me, we've got this agreement.
i dont believe in him, and he doesnt believe in me.

we talk alot, but it really doesnt get us anywhere.

he tells me i'm full of shit.
he tells me i'm better than this, and i'm wasting my life on triviality.
he always tells me that i really ought to believe in something beyond death and oblivion.

but I know he's only joking.

i tell him he really ought to pay more attention.
i remind him that the common man relies upon him.
and i always tell him (just before i fall asleep) that most of us aren't as happy as we pretend to be.

he just laughs.