Ow... my heart

i heard that song again.
you know the one I mean.
the one that hits my heart with a sledgehammer, then goes to town with the cheese-grater, only to follow that up with the question of how much salt i'd like to have poured into the wounds.

yeah, that song

it's curious that it used to be one of my favourite songs, even before it became "that song for that girl". and naturally, when it was that song for that girl, i listened to it all the time and it never caused any problems. realistically i should've known what it would turn into, as such things always get twisted and convoluted when you're in an inescapable situation involving a girl.

one night this spring i came home drunk, and for some reason i felt the need to put it on. and i guess i was feeling sentimental or something cuz i put it on repeat and promptly passed out. all through the night i remember waking up singing the lyrics along with my speakers. it was that kinda half-awake/half-asleep feeling.

all told i heard that song 97 times in that one night, and i know that number exactly beacuse ever since i got itunes i hadn't listened to it once. and since that night i haven't listened to it again.

save for that one time this past weekend.

and although it's a fuckin tragedy that such a great song is ruined by circumstances i can never fix, it is comforting that only one girl in the whole wide world even knows what the song even is.