Ashes

it's come time for another admission

and this time you didn't even have to ask for it


so here it is: i have no idea what to do next

now, it would be cliche for you to lay down the answer "noone else does either", so you stay quiet. after all, you suppose to know me well enough to know that those words would just piss me off
it's true that i hate cliches, but in this instance it would be what i wanted

and that's why you only suppose to know me

i've been thinking alot lately about the past. about hindsight. about 20/20 vision. about the choices i would've made/the way i should've felt/the time i would've spent... if only i had known then what i know now

most of the time i look back with a cringe on my face and hang my head, wishing i could change things. but then again, i did promise myself to give up regret and all that it brings with it. easier said than done, but i am trying
i've given up a few ghosts and pressed the release on some traps that once held me
but it's harder to ignore the scars that those iron clamps left in their stead

in truth i wish somebody knew which path i should take
and just to give them the proverbial fuck you, i'd take the other route just to say i did it

i suppose that's the beauty of living life without fate